No Hate Like Christian Love

WBC members demonstrate outside of Olathe North High School on May 20, 2018. Lots of WBC signage now uses biblical references. [Photo courtesy of WBC]  

When I was in the evangelical church my friend hated when I used the phrase “no hate like Christian love”. It disturbed her because she felt that all she did was love in Gods name. I didn’t realize how much it bothered her until she meekly brought it up one day.

“We’re not all like that,” she said.

Some time later, she would denounce our friendship over an easy out so that she could stay in her groups good graces as I had challenged the church and left. I understand the hierarchy of the place and knew that in order to hold her unspoken respectful standing, it was best if she cut ties with me; someone who speaks out.

Through my deconstruction journey I found tiktok and Instagram wildly helpful. “Ex-vangelicals” and “ex-Mormons” littered my For You pages and with them came the painful stories of people who never wanted to leave the church but ultimately had to, so they wouldn’t betray themselves. They spoke open and honestly about how the church hurt them and how they found peace after the devastating loss. Something that went hand in hand with these stories were the venomous reactions from “Christians”.

In addition to dehumanizing and turning people away from houses of God, some of these people took to the comments of these wounded posters on the path to healing and tore open portals to hell with their words. People who’s online bio read “God first” and “Faith, Family, Friends” were telling the original posters to kill themselves and hurling insults as though they were defending the ones who hung Christ on a cross themselves! But the crime was just speaking on their experience and that seemed such a threat, near violence boiled up in these Sunday serving Christians.

I never understood why Christian’s get so angry when people don’t agree with them. Why the pendulum swings from radical love to rage and loathing. Either you are in or you are OUT. No room for those who just want to figure it out.

One of the creators I follow on Instagram goes by the handle  “Eve was framed”. She shares why she left the church and how it was harmful for her. She dissects what was taught to her and has community like myself, who are also trying to pick up the pieces and find God in the rubble. She also has a number of people who walked away from God completely, as she did.

Once in a while, she and other creators like her, highlight the comments and private messages she receives daily from “Jesus loving Christian’s”.  They are some of the most disturbing messages you’ll encounter. The rest of us look and see evil spouting and the blatant hypocrisy. As though their hateful accusations will make us grab our things and peel out to the nearest church to return to Jesus... In what world?

Here is the image/comment that prompted me to write this out today:

While I’ve seen hundreds of these types of angry comments defending their religion through threat and verbal attacks, further down in the comments someone responded with a satisfying answer as to why these Christians go against Jesus’ actual teaching of love and respond like the devil themselves.

Here is that comment:

It’s something the rest of us probably subconsciously know and definitely understand but to put it in words helps diminish the aggression behind the attack. For “Eve”, she takes these messages with a grain of salt because, like this commenter, she knows these are fear responses.

While not all angry Christian comments are as open and vial, undertones of superiority and suppression of human rights try to slither under the radar in the interest of “saving those who can’t save themselves”. A slippery slope in a country that founded itself on freedom of religion while MAGA maniacs are trying to force prayer and guns into school in Jesus’ name.

I imagine as my life, writings and future career unfold over time (as an openly gay pastor), I will receive the same kind of threats. Not because I’m looking to throw rocks at the beehive but because living out loud in your truth is highly threatening to those who rely heavily on their religion to define them. They don’t want to see another way of life and they don’t want others to either.

While I hope I can take the future aggressors with a grain of salt, there is no psychological explanation that will ever quench the thirst of the age old question as to how these people claim Jesus as their savior while speaking to Gods children with such disdain. Because whether they like it or not, we ARE all made in Gods image and God gave us free will to explore this creation.

Ask yourself truly, if you are a person of faith… what do those outside your church walls see? Because if it’s not the shadow of your prince of peace, perhaps you need to spend more time praying for your own soul then trying to destroy mine.

Peace be with you.